Отправлено: 23.01.10 06:56. Заголовок: КОНКУРС "САМАЯ ИНОСТРАННАЯ ШУТКА"

Уважаемые участники предметной недели!

Приглашаем вас принять участие в конкурсе на самую иностранную шутку.

Сроки проведения: 24-26 января

Ведущий конкурса: Плотникова Наталья Ивановна, сотрудник кафедры иностранных языков ЦДО "Эйдос"

 Отправлено: 26.01.10 16:49. Заголовок: The blonde rides in ..

The blonde rides in the car. The phone call. She searches, searches phone and can not find. Thinks - probably, forgot at home.

Two men talking in the hospital
- What are you doing here?
- I brought my children.
- What happened?
- We played chess on flicks: one has broken a finger, another has concussion.

 Отправлено: 26.01.10 18:04. Заголовок: Куликова Яна, Лицей ЗабГГПУ им.Чернышевского, город Чита

Blonde Car Accident
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

 Отправлено: 26.01.10 18:21. Заголовок: Hello! I want to tel..

Hello! I want to tell you anecdote.
The family of British Lords son.He graw up, but not talking. Several years have passed. Parents are accustomed to, that the child is silent.
But one day at breakfast the young lord said:
-Porridge is not salty!
All happy!
-Hurray! The Lord God heard our prayers, the son said!!!
Parients are turning to son:
-Sir, you know how to speak?
-Yes!
-Why are you silent for so many years?
-.........Comments were!!!

 Отправлено: 26.01.10 18:36. Заголовок: That's my joke....

That's my joke...

-'where can u see divorce before marriage?'-asked one boy
-'' i didn't see it...where?''

.........
-''in dictionary!''


It was really very funny!!)) haha)

and one more...


One friend to another, "My new horse is very well-mannered".
"That's nice".
"Yes, isn't it? Every time we come to a jump he stops and lets me go first!"

 Отправлено: 26.01.10 19:04. Заголовок: One day on man was h..

One day on man was having breakfast in a English hotel. He took a drink from his cup and then said to the waiter, "Waiter, is this tea or coffee?" The waiter said, "Can't you tell the difference, sir, by the taste?" "No,"the man said, "Ican't." "well," answered the waiter, "If you can't tell the difference, what does it matter wich it is?"

 Отправлено: 26.01.10 20:33. Заголовок: КриSтюша Der Klassen..

КриSтюша Der Klassenscherz!!!!

 Отправлено: 26.01.10 20:43. Заголовок: САМАЯ ИНОСТРАННАЯ ШУТКА

Dear paticipants!

I appreciate your humour very much, which has many forms, sometimes even sarcastic. That means you've got cute mind, are smart, energetic and optimistic. The winners will be announced on January 27th. You are welcome at Eidos Party!

Best regards,
Plotnikova Natalia Ivanovna
Contest Coordinator

Уважаемые участники! Спасибо за ваш юмор, который проявился во многих формах, иногда даже саркастических. Это означает, что вы остроумны, энергичны и оптимисты. Победители будут объявлены 27 января. Добро пожаловать на Eidos Party!

С уважением,
Плотникова Наталья Ивановна
Координатор конкурса

 Отправлено: 26.01.10 22:35. Заголовок: Дмитрий Соломатин г. Батайск школа №7

Es kommt der Mann am 1. Januar ins Geschäft und sagt
- Und bei Ihnen das Brot die Frischen? Und die Verkäuferin antwortet ihm
- Gibt es der Pfannkuchen vorjährig.

 Отправлено: 27.01.10 11:41. Заголовок: This is a joke I lik..

This is a joke I like very much.
"Father: I say, John, what have you learnt at college?
Son: Oh, many things. I've studied logic, too.
Father: Logic? What is that?
Son: Well, I can give you a demonstration,
Father: That will be very good of you.
Son: How many chickens are there on that dish, Father?
Father: Two.
Son: Well, I can prove there are three. This is one, isn't it?
Father: Yes.
Son: And this is two. Well, one and two make three, don't they? That's what logic is.
Father: Oh, you really have learnt things at college. Well, Mother, you have one of the chickens, I'll take the second, and John can have the third. How is that, John? As you make your bed, so you must lie on it."

 Отправлено: 27.01.10 12:05. Заголовок: Толокушкина Саша

Hello!
In the train.
It was summer, when a young girl in a pretty dress quickly entered a compartment of a train and sat down. At the same moment the train began to move. In the compartment there was only a young man, who was sitting on the other side opposite her.
The young man said: «Excuse me, miss, but»
If you speak to me again, I ll give the alarm and stop the train,
Said the girl quickly.
The young man did not say anything more. When the train was coming up to the station, he stood up and said:
I tried to tell you that you were sitting on my paper bag of strawberries. But you did not want to listen so now your dress is ruines.

 Отправлено: 27.01.10 13:17. Заголовок: Many Russian people ..

Many Russian people live abroad. They work, but sometimes they misunderstand foreigners.
An Englishman comes to the ticket office:
-Two tickets to Dublin.
The cashier answers:
-Куда, блин?

 Отправлено: 27.01.10 15:01. Заголовок: I like this joke))) ..

like this joke))) I don't mind all details))

A man went into a cafe in a high rise.
He saw another man take a pill, take a drink, walk to the window and jump out.
He flew around for a minute and zipped back into the bar.

As the amazed newcomer watched, the man repeated this twice more.
Finally the man asked if he could have a pill.
The flier said it was his last one.
The man offered five hundred dollars to no avail, so he made a final offer of a thousand dollars.
The man said that it was all he had on him.

The flier reluctantly gave in, took the cash, surrendered the pill, and turned back to the his table.
The man took the pill, took a water, went to the window, and jumped out only to fall to his death.
The bartender walked over to the flier at the table and, wiping a glass, said, "You sure are mean, Superman."

 Отправлено: 27.01.10 16:13. Заголовок: Samy Very much it w..

Samy Very much it was pleasant to me)

 Отправлено: 27.01.10 16:44. Заголовок: Vita ^__^))) xoxo**..

Vita ^__^))) xoxo**

 Отправлено: 27.10.10 23:51. Заголовок: My jokе is a physica..

My jokе is a physical one :)

An electron walks into a bar. They bartender asks him what's up. The electron says "My wife just left me. She took the kids. I just want to die." The Bartender then says: "Stop being so negative."
Электрон заходит в бар. Бармен спрашивает как дела, электрон начинает жаловаться на жизнь: "Меня бросила жена и забрала детей, я хочу умереть". Бармен ему советует: "Прекрати быть таким отрицательным!"

 Отправлено: 20.09.11 08:03. Заголовок: I don't understa..

I don't understand one joke. Can you explain me it?
"What one mathematic book said to another?
- I've got a problem"

 Отправлено: 20.09.11 08:04. Заголовок: I don't understa..

I don't understand one joke. Can you explain me it?
"What one mathematic book said to another?
- I've got a problem"